If Women Ruled the World or Something

A recent article brought this blog to mind: ‘If women ruled the world. . .’

All right, all right, I’m not insinuating that women can’t drive. Far from it. I tool around in a full-sized van, 6600 pounds, thank you very much and I can park the puppy in a rat hole. Do remember, I’m from Texas and things are bigger here than in other parts of the world — rat holes included. But gals are normally handling a number of things while trying to park and I think it’s only fair we should get a bigger parking spot.

If women ruled the world, there would be a little ‘bill’ equality.


If women ruled the world, tools would be simpler.

Don’t ask, ‘where’s the beef?’. More importantly, where’s the duct tape? No woman’s purse is actually complete without duct tape. Want to know how to hold a fence in place? Duct Tape. Keep air from leaking out of a tire? Duct Tape. Prevent anything from flapping in the wind? Duct Tape. Okay, I rest my case.


And for traditional tools . . . I say, ‘Who needs ’em’ I have hung many a picture with a shoe, and no, I don’t measure before I put it on the wall.

Hang and bang–that’s my philosophy. And I can screw anything in place with a butter knife or better yet a metal nail file.

Make sure to get a heel with serious heft to it, however. If you’re going to bang away, you want it to be effective.


Oh, and not the good butter knife, for crying out loud. That’s like your kids buffing the dog clean with your good kitchen towels. Keep an old – we don’t have the rest of the silverware set anymore – butter knife in your special tool drawer. Don’t have one. Hit any Saturday morning garage sale. A .25C max.


If women ruled the world, hiking boots would actually LOOK good.


If women ruled the world, toilet seats would stay in their proper position.


If women ruled the world, guys would have the right toolbox.
MEN, if you’re going to help ‘make em’, then roll up your sleeves and wade in.

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